Typical Indian

Advice to father thinking about whether he should let his daughter continue her studies or get her married : ” Vell, if you wantu study her, then study her. If you wantu marry her, then marry her .”

An instructor explaining the working of pendulum: “Take an elephant of negligible weight”

Instructor: “Take a copper wire of any metal…and pour any liquid solution of sulphuric acid in a round bottom flask of any shape.”

“Do not smoke and spoil the botany of ur body”

He/she’s my cousin brother/sister.

“You three, both of you kneel down together separately”

“Hey, please keep quiet. The president is rotating outside”

“I have to put my child to sleep”

” Florida paan shop. Prop: Raju . B.A, M.A. ”

” Don’t talk bad in front of my back ”

Did you cut the ticket, yet?

“Entry too entry otherwise disentry”

The principal just passed away.

Who took out the breeze of my cykill.

My cykill is understanding the tree.

Open the windows and let the AIR FORCE come in”!

“Open the doors of the window, and let the atmosphere come in ”

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Beautiful wife

A man and his wife were walking on a busy street. Coming to a corner a begger shouted out to the lady:
“Oh sundari!!! andhha huu. sawa panch rupya de de” (Oh beautiful!! I am blind give me five and a quarter rupees)

At once her husband told her: “de de, de de, tujhhe sundari bola hai to har haal me ye andhha hi hai!!” (Give him what he asks, If he thinks you are beautiful then there is no doubt that he is blind!!)