Typical Indian

Advice to father thinking about whether he should let his daughter continue her studies or get her married : ” Vell, if you wantu study her, then study her. If you wantu marry her, then marry her .”

An instructor explaining the working of pendulum: “Take an elephant of negligible weight”

Instructor: “Take a copper wire of any metal…and pour any liquid solution of sulphuric acid in a round bottom flask of any shape.”

“Do not smoke and spoil the botany of ur body”

He/she’s my cousin brother/sister.

“You three, both of you kneel down together separately”

“Hey, please keep quiet. The president is rotating outside”

“I have to put my child to sleep”

” Florida paan shop. Prop: Raju . B.A, M.A. ”

” Don’t talk bad in front of my back ”

Did you cut the ticket, yet?

“Entry too entry otherwise disentry”

The principal just passed away.

Who took out the breeze of my cykill.

My cykill is understanding the tree.

Open the windows and let the AIR FORCE come in”!

“Open the doors of the window, and let the atmosphere come in ”

A mug of beer

An insect falls into a mug of beer…

African : Takes the insect out and drinks the beer

Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away

Japanese : Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer.

Pakistani : Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for Military aid, takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer.

Indian: Accuses Pakistan for helping the insect to infiltrate into the glass, blames it as long term ISI operation, terms the insect as a Pakistan SSG commando in undercover operation and vows to defend every inch of the glass and every drop of the beer and demand that US should declare Pakistan a terrorist state